Invitation

First, this is an invitation to write. I’ve been suffering from procrastination (?), laziness (?), writer’s block (?) …none of above? It just so appeared that ideas and sentences formed in mind at all time when I am around chasing a child and then when I finally sit down at the end of the day…

The second came to mind is the invitation (followed by pressure) of mommy clan and whatnot. You see, the combination of an introvert mom and a high-need child is not the best when it comes to social setting. Do I say yes to activities? But in all honestly my child is too young to care for playdate. Do I say no? But then I have no social circle beyond my child and spouse. And hence the pressure.

Apprehensive

This is the word that has been on my mind, actually.

“If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.”*

I have been thinking about my childhood a lot these days. This has brought on enormous emotions, an alphabet soup if you well. Mostly resentment.

Where should I start?

Verbally abusive father or passive aggressive mother?

The fact that I am in my mid 30s and still haunted by the past memories?

That I vividly remember even before 10 years of age (maybe at 7), I thought life did not worth living (for whatever my father had said/done to me)?

This is like a skein of yarn that was tugged midway and wrong way. You can’t wind. You can’t unwind. Now. Today. Tomorrow. Is (and I’m sure it is) an invitation for me to provide my child a positive environment.

Yet, the past haunts me.

For my father has always claimed (and proudly) that he raised us not like his parents and gave us better (of everything). I suppose that is true but perhaps not enough. My biggest fear is I am blinded-sighted by the unknown (to me, not necessarily to others).

Parenting- just one piece of the apprehensive soup…

then there are other adult things…

 

* Canfield, J. & Wells, H. C. (1976). 100 ways to enhance self-concept in the classroom: A handbook for teachers and patents. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

 

 

Renewal

It is the end of the year, once again, and and and and…

and we put one foot in front of another and move forward.

Move. Forward.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”
Albert Einstein 

 

The moving forward motion, the inhaling and exhaling, renews itself each breath we take. Each moment we get a chance to renew. Each breath is an opportunity to renew.

Sadly (or not), the only decision is to live or (die?) in which case there is no renewal because…well…the choice expired.

In the interest of being merry and bright –

Make each breath count.

 

Renewal

Pillage

hum, literal – an age of pills.

seriously. no joke.

A mom of a 15 months old said – my child is no sleeping at night and cries when I leave him in the crib so i gave him some Tylenol. He might be teething.

Yes, he might be teething absolutely but he may also be experiencing separation anxiety. But I kept my comment to myself. If I have learnt one thing from the world of parenting, it is whatever works for your family is the best.

Pillage. An age where pills are there so inexpensive and yet expensive.

 

If you are experiencing x, y, or z, talk to your doctor about OXOX.

But why not?